Interesting, after trying hard to work together with my ex- H for years & hand hold him through the process of getting out of debt & just try hard to be married to him, I can see where the relationship degraded into needing to control & dominate after he destroyed us financially when I got sick & needed him to take over the financial responsibility & he failed miserably & there was no way I could trust him. Before finally leaving & even after for awhile from 2100 miles away I needed to control & dominate from a financial standpoint (which overflows into other areas)

I can see how SADLY sometimes circumstances degrade into abuse before finally getting fed up enough to leave.....& it depands on ones personality whether to quietly accept until leaving or to fight for ones own life.....which actually does result in abusive behaviors when fighting back because no other skills are known how to handle the situation.

It's almost like.....Yod did this to me.....I have no choice than to respond this way

Sadly no matter how one looks at it the actions come across as abusive no matter what the reason for the behavior.

Interesting thoughts this brought up when it felt like self-defense.