Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967
When I run away, I run to a very secluded cabin in the Smokies that has a jacuzzi, fireplace and a wonderful hot tub. There's no one to be seen for miles. After about 4 days alone and staring up at the stars while soaking in the hot tub I gain my equilibrium back. It sounds like you badly need a break. You might say you can't afford it money wise or time wise but what's going to happen if you breakdown or burn out? You could plan a small 2 day trip to see if that helps.
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Sending big hugs.  |
Wow Jennifer, that sounds wonderful! I would love to get away for a few days, just by myself, because the only alone time I have each day, from my husband and/or kids, is after everyone is FINALLY asleep, which can greatly vary depending on if my kids wake up within about 90 minutes of attempting to fall asleep. I think it's so hard for me to stay on a sleep schedule because it's not until 10:00 - 10:30 p.m. when I am completely convinced my kids will not be engaging in anymore shenanigans to stay up later, and are completely asleep. Who wants to turn around and go to bed at 11:00 when you've been around people all day! While we are spending so much time building our business now, I'm not sure what I can do actually get away by myself, I'm not sure if he'd completely trust me to do that anyhow. But I've got to figure out something.
I did end up taking a small nap after dinner (which I did ask my husband to prepare if I picked up our girl from gymnastics, and he was happy to do that), and then got more sleep last night, so I'm feeling a bit better this morning. I'm starting with a new therapist next week, I've only seen her once where she allowed me to just talk and she developed a treatment plan. I need to address this sleep and needing alone time issue. I also see the new pdoc the following week (I think) to figure out another plan of action since adding 50 mg of Seroquel (a drug I had taken up to 800 mg in the past) suddenly made my mood swings and depression plummet, to the point I wanted to harm myself, so I got off that quickly.
The problem is that since my original pdoc left last December, I've only had sporadic therapy and med management. I took myself off of Seroquel and Lithium, saw a new pdoc, who I really didn't like, and eventually stopped taking the pathetic 150 mg of Trileptal and 1 mg of Risperdal the next month, which were not helping at all. That was the end of April. Right now I'm only taking 300 mg of Lamictal (when I only really remember to take 150 mg a day) and up to 3 mg Klonopin a day (when I only really remember to take 1 mg a day). Another problem, I know. So I'll just try to hope someone can help me get more stable, these constant, rapid mood shifts are really getting to me. Thanks for listening.
