I'm done with life. I'm not going to work harder than everybody else just to get to a point to where I'm functional in a society that will never accept me. I'm done fighting just so I can be a decent person just so people care about me one day.

I can't be expected to deal with all of my problems and all of these responsibilities all on my own. I am struggling just to manage my stress with work and school while dealing with the buses. I can't get help and see a therapist because of how busy that I am combined with how slow the buses are. I can't get my license because I don't know how to drive because my mother never bothered to help me. I can't be expexted to do all of this on my own.

I see no advantage of continuing to try when it would be easier to scam people on the internet or use and manipulate people to get ahead. I could make more money with far less work involved if I chose to go down this path without putting myself at risk. In fact, all I would be risking is getting my mailing address or IP address blacklisted from certain companies if I did what I have in mind while making thousands or tens of thousands of dollars or more.

I could do stuff like this and not feel any guilt or remourse because I don't care about the vast majority of humans to begin with. I'm to empty to care about other people to begin with. I shouldn't have to work this hard to change because even if I do, I doubt that anybody will ever love me anyways because I am too hurt to be of substance to anybody. I can't bond with other people to save my life. Even if I could change, I can't get to a therapist due to my schedule and transportation issues and I wouldnt be able to do anything about my transportation issues for several months.

I'm a bad person. I no longer see a benefit in putting in the work to change. If people can't love and accept me than I will walk over them to get my way. I don't care who I have to hurt and drain to get my needs met anymore. I can't live this way anymore.