Quote:
Originally Posted by scaredandconfused
I see you making these posts quite often during times of stress, and I just can't take it seriously anymore. I think you are saying these things about lying and cheating to get ahead, but aren't actually going to do these things. I think you are frustrated with the stressors of adult life that you were not properly raised to deal with. It sucks that you did not get a proper childhood, but posts like this will not help you to move forward. It's just putting up a fake "tough guy" front that isn't believable with how many times you've flip flopped on it.
Driving vs. the bus, for example. I have decided not to learn to drive because it makes me anxious, so using public transit is what I do. There's no use complaining about it. Either make the changes you want to see, or accept where you're at and move forward.
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Actually, I fully intend on acting now. The fact of the matter is that what has made me weak up until this point is that I lacked conviction. I have been walking on a thin line between light and darkness for so long. I've been trying to find an even balance without commiting to anything; that has been my downfall. I will commit to my persuit of power without faltering and without being scared of losing the ability to feel light, love, and happiness because I've already lost the means to feel this way.
I lack the strength to do things the "normal" way. I can't function in school without being triggered by seeing all of the happy young people living the life that I never got to live. I am triggered by seeing all of these young girls that will never accept me and I am triggered by anybody (especially a female) telling me off like you are doing now. I have been trying to improve but change takes too long and I'm tired of waiting.
Since living a regular decent life isn't for me, I will simply walk over others to get ahead. After all, that's what all successful people do, yes?