I have always self sabotaged. When the stress builds up too much, I will always do something to hurt myself. Even if it is only binge drinking. I don't do conscious cutting or self harm but I do subconscious self-sabotage. It is a form of mental breakdown. Little blips of mental breakdowns. Making stupid decisions which hurt my own quality of life. Making threats where I get baker acted. Saying ugly things to my loved ones in fits of anger instead of trying to be diplomatic. I understand self-sabotage!