All people are different. What one person might find happiness from, other people might find misery from. I personally can't be happy living a normal life and working a regular job because the only things in this world that bring me any joy at all are technology and video games. Without either, I am utterly miserable. Being a geek and gamer costs money and working a regular job that doesn't pertain to those things takes up time that I could be spending doing what I enjoy.

You do realize that I lost the ability to feel empathy for the vast majority of humanity long ago right? I am numb to these types of feelings now and I doubt that therapy could help heal my emptiness that contributes to this. Even if therapy could heal me, I can't get to a therapist until I get a license and a car and therapy takes a lot of time to show results so if I started therapy and fully committed to it, I probably wouldn't be able to change for a few years or more at least, which feels like an eternity to me.

I doubt that I'm valued here. Even so, it's not like any people here or anywhere else would care about somebody like me that can't feel anything for people anymore. I want to bond with people but I simply don't know how anymore. I guess I do value other people here which might be why I am revealing this part of me; I don't want to hurt people who have actually been good to me but I see no other way for me to be happy but to go down this path because I can't be happy living how I am. Oh and I didn't say I was going to be breaking the law.

Thanks and I'm sorry. Maybe if you met me 3-5 years ago, you would have liked me. I've changed too much since then and as such, I don't think any human has the capacity to sate the emptiness inside of me.