Darkness -- I care about you. I like you. I can also understand feeling unwanted, not liked, out-of-place. I have never done well is social situations, have always felt like the odd one out, never quite belonging in any particular group. I started college when I was 29. I had hopes of fitting into a group, but soon realized that really wasn't going to happen for me. I did communicate with certain people about classes, assignments etc to some extent, but when the class was over they went off to join their group and I went off on my own. I learned to accept it, although even now, at 55 years old I sometimes feel that twinge of loneliness when I see groups of people together. Regardless, I know that if I was in a similar group that I wouldn't feel like I really belong and would be anxious and stressed.

For the most part I have accepted this. It's not easy to do. But accepting it is not the only way to work through it. Therapy can help, and I realize that is not feasible for you now, but maybe in the future it will fit in for you. I never started therapy until just over a year ago. A huge mistake for me, I should have done it a long time ago. I'm so set in my ways that I'm not sure I can change now.

You will find your path, but it will be rocky. It seems to me that handling of stress would be something for you to work on, something that you can do without the help of a therapist. I highly recommend relaxation music and other grounding techniques. It may not work for you, but it can't hurt to try. You can find videos on You Tube for free or download music from Amazon for a couple bucks and give it a try.

In a way it's good that you come on here and vent. Your getting that frustration out and not internalizing it as much. Maybe that combined with some relaxation music, grounding techniques will help you get through this challenging time. I do think if you don't get that degree, you will regret it someday.

Hang in there.