Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967
I've hesitated weighing in here because in the past (and I can't remember the specific post), I tried to be supportive and you bit my head off. I'm hearing a lot of pain coming through in your messages and wish I could give you a big hug. I don't think deep down you really want to be a con man and I think you have a conscience and are a nice person. I hope you'll stay on PC. People care. I care. If you notice almost all your previous posts have hugs from me. I mean them. I wish you well and hope you come to a decision that brings you peace and healing. Sending big hugs.  |
I'm sorry about that.
I honestly don't know what I want to do at this point. I am so confused about everything and so overwhelmed with life. On one hand, I feel like I would benefit not coming on here anymore and using that time to study and learn new tech knowledge or ideas that are relevant to my goals. On the other hand, I might be hurting myself further along with other people here. IDK...
One thing is for certain though: I crave human connection. Something as simple as a hug I would give anything for at this point. I just want people to accept me. I have been fighting my whole life just to achieve some form of happiness but I don't think I can do this on my own much longer. Life is too overwhelming for me.
If I don't do my shady little business ventures that I was talking about in an earlier post, than I might as well just focus on my license and then maybe buy a van and live in it so I don't have to work and can instead focus on building my knowledge and living off plasma money and leftover FAFSA money. At least I could get a gaming laptop and have my precious games.
In the meantime, it might be wise for me to request a temporary suspend on my account until I figure out things. Maybe I can come back when I'm more level headed and not making threads like this anymore. Maybe I will be less stressed when I get my license and a vehicle so I don't have to deal with the buses. Maybe I can drop a class that starts later this semester so that I can optimize my schedule better. IDK...
I am just going to skip school today to recharge though. I need to get my plasma done and I have some testing to go up there to do but that's all that I'm doing. I'm skipping my second class because all they are doing there is going over stuff that is already in my textbook. I need a break from all of this.