My boyfriend of 5 months (him 31, me 33) is severely depressed. He hates his job, the band he's in, his body, the city we live in... overall he's just very angry. When we first started dating he had just started his new job and was in pretty good spirits for the first couple of months before the job-related depression set in. He now smokes and drinks heavily, neglects his bills, his dogs, and his health.

He has a pretty rough past. He suffered the traumatic loss of both of his parents 6 years ago and has a history of being cheated on by several women. He's now convinced that every woman he dates will cheat on him. One night he drunkenly called me up while at a work conference and said "All women will eventually find a guy and **** them behind my back." I was speechless.

Anyhow. He's been dropping hints for weeks - "I can't love anyone," "I don't know how to love," "I don't think I'm meant to be in a relationship," etc. I tried so hard to be the good girlfriend, letting him vent to me, cooking him meals, loving him even when he didn't love me back. We had a very intense phone call when I was out of town last Saturday. He admitted he had been suicidal that day and thought several times about calling me but knew I was busy, and started crying because he felt terrible for hurting me and ruining our relationship. I didn't say much except to tell him I cared for him and wanted what was best for him. We agreed to meet Sunday night to discuss the dissolution of our relationship. When we did we just ended up having sex.

Yesterday I decided to end it via a handwritten letter since doing that in person wasn't possible. Not because I was fed up, but because I think my presence and refusal to let him leave me was making his life worse, not better. He said he understood, apologized for being horrible, thanked me for putting up with his "depressive self," and that he felt like he was "so close to breaking through this depressive cycle, but wasn't there yet." I suggested my keeping in touch with him now and again to see how he's doing and he didn't reject the idea but he didn't necessarily say "yes" either.

He is not seeking treatment of any kind, despite my gentle suggestions that he should.

I feel like we ended on good terms and I would like to occasionally check in on him to see how he's doing. No relationship pressure, just purely concern for him. I thought I'd let me emotions settle and in maybe a few weeks or so give him a phone call. Could anyone offer any insight as to whether this is a good idea or not? Anyone here ever ended a relationship because of their depression?