Hi Fuzzy

How not to blame yourself and or believe all that "erroneous stuff" thrown at you............well I'm betting that you know some of the logical stuff but I know it has to be real hard to invest in/have faith in it when some of the ingrained thoughts come pushing though, right??

Still..........perhaps if you can look at/believe it more from a more "outside" perspective............like if someone came to you pretty similar to you as a child and as an adult and related the same experiences, would you find reasons to blame them for their experiences??!! I know you wouldn't Fuzzy!!
And I know you'd put blame exactly where it belonged.............with the abusers!!
And have you heard of experiences and wondered........how the **** did they deserve to be parents!!! Maybe??!!
And someone being abused has to have deserved it, asked for it in some way, "pushed the abusers buttons"...........we know that isn't right, don't we??!!! Plus abuse is never right regardless!!!
But do real good/decent/worthy people get abused.........get called worthless etc........really sad..........but we know they do..........absolutely!!!
Do some of those people have the "misfortune" to have lots of abusers in/come into their lives...........absolutely!!!
And how valid are the abusers words and opinions going to be?? Well obviously if someone feels the need to/has to intimidate/humiliate/put down/degrade/denegrate/insult/abuse..........someone else, well they have to have some "problems"...........so doesn't that say that the abusers veiws opinions are "not necessarily something to be relied on".........not automatically valid?? Plus are they good, caring people?? Not!! So why should their veiws, whatever they are (!!) matter to you??!!
So maybe look a bit more at the outside perspective??

And...........actual evidence against their views...........???
You certainly know lots of people on here deeply value you.........and those qualities in you they/we value haven't come from nowhere..........so many of those qualities are there despite the abuse not because of it.
And maybe it could help to reflect back on some of those qualities?? As in, that you are kind, caring, considerate................
And those abusers comments do not deserve to hurt you.........perhaps try to keep your focus on the people who see the true you, who honour and cherish who you really are??

Alison