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n my experience it was a co-dependent co-attachment. The dishonest part is that I was paying and openly pursuing needs, while she was getting paid and covertly pursuing needs. When her needs were threatened she cut me off, which was difficult for her, but she has a bunch of other clients to fill up her emptiness.
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I don't think you were dishonest -- you were paying and openly pursuing attachment needs. That seems pretty straightforward and honest to me. I think your exT might have been in over her head and had no idea how to handle these things as frequently seems to happen. And the client is damaged and has little recourse. Now the abandonment sometimes comes from a defensive, maybe angry T, who knows there's little you can do about it. But they somehow justify to themselves that they are above the law of do no harm because it was the client's fault, or maybe worse, they know it was their fault and refuses to be truthful.
Do blame yourself for what happened, your T, or both? Did she apologize during the last conversation you had? A direct apology seems to be rare. Sorry if these questions are intrusive, if so, please ignore them.
Sorry for the stupidity, what is UPR?