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nushi · 08:36 PM

Hey everyone

I'd put a goal about three years ago, to finish my Master's in about a year or so, before I become 30 yo, & I DID IT!

Now, I'm 32, & I'm putting a harder more complex goal for myself... that is to have found a PhD scholarship abroad by next year (one year from now - September 2018).

I didn't register for PhD here in Egypt, nor take the common path that everyone's pushing me to take. NO! I wanna go out, change, try new things, explore, discover, & take the path that fewer people are taking...

I have many psychological problems, just like I always have been facing (including while finishing my Master's); OCD, MDD, GAD, Perfectionism, Pure Obsessions, etc., that will make it ever so more difficult to achieve & finish things. I realize that probably this time it's gonna be harder than during my Master's, 'cause my psychological problems are worsening with time (as I'm still not being treated with psychotherapy), & 'cause finding a PhD scholarship abroad is a very confusing, chaotic, mumble-jumble task, rather than a concrete clear thing to do, which would trigger my perfectionism & the start/end obsession horribly!

But I'm gonna do it

I will reach it, & cross through my psychological shackles free to it, as I always astound myself with my perseverance. And I'll keep trying to find stable psychotherapy, to treat myself as well. I have to get going with reaching my cosmic purpose (finding a PhD scholarship abroad is one step), while searching for healing & treatment, so as not to fall into deeper depression & deeper into the endless pit of hell of the obsessions' darkness in my mind

Like my love, papa had told me... I'm a child from the outside, & strong as iron & resilient from the inside... I'll find a PhD scholarship abroad within a year... I'll do it...

for aahh