I'm freaking out. Ok (breathe. Effing breathe...). First off, I'm very expressive in my words or actions on FB. I post music based on how I feel. I have no children so I post my pets. If I have an issue with politics, I won't go out of my way but I will agree or disagree with others. I really don't have much to post about other than that. On the other hand, all my friends are having kids and getting married. I'm taking my time getting there because I know I HAVE to put my MI first or else I'm no good to anyone. Well tonight I was wondering about a friend I haven't seen on there In awhile. So I looked her up... she unfriended me after she got married and had a kid. And then another... after she got married and had a kid. Is my independent and somewhat outspoken views that offensive?! I'm sitting here wanting to cry. Why do I care so much?! I've had severely low self esteem since childhood abuse and this just hits me like a buss. Is my BP impulsivity and honesty that bad? I feel like such an A hole right now. Sorry I should of mentioned that these people know about my situation so I can't help thinking that my BP is the issue. I've been stable for a year now but at this moment I want to break down. These people were friends I grew up with and I'm damaged goods. They can't relate to my anguish, my wit, my honesty. Am I that terrible that they have to unfriend me after friendships that go back to elementary school? ****!!!!

I'm sorry. I had to vent. I feel so misunderstood and alone in my immediate life.

Edit: I also have BPD... maybe it effects how outspoken and "emotional" I can be? Ahhhhhh