I always pushed myself pretty hard and also didn't cut myself an ounce of slack. Then I broke for reasons which are unclear. I'm glad I pushed myself....it may or may not have contributed to my current condition.

We all need different things to get and be well. Some need to push more and some need to learn to push less. I've had to be more kind and understanding towards myself to get somewhat better. I had to stop holding my old standards over my own head. I'm sick, in pain and seriously struggling to survive. I kept thinking I had to push harder to be well but it kept backfiring and making me feel worse and more lost. I might always live in relative poverty which is a tough pill to swallow.....always terrified of the next financial disaster. and the only way to get better might be accepting this.

For you Boogie......well, you're LONELY and that will continue to tear you down until you fix it. You need to push. You need to socialize, to get out there and live. Working out is a great way to get endorphins and as you are not disabled, I encourage you to take advantage.

My doctors consider me "isolated" but I'm really not from where I stand. I have my husband, children, the very best friend to ever live, my dear sweet mother and more. When depressed I lock myself in the spare room and that's not healthy but most of the time I have plenty of people who can spend time with me whose company I thoroughly enjoy. This is my greatest gift and privilege. I want you to have a life filled with people and love and companionship and I think pushing for that will be well worth the effort. (((Hugs)))