Current T was sweet and a trifle barmy today.

She told me that other than my safety as a woman driving across the country, she was also worried about my being the target of racism.

I really didn't know what to say and so I just stared at her -- as much as the current political climate bothers me, I didn't think I'd be in any danger traveling across the country. She did acknowledge that it's probably coz she watches too much TV!

Also, (very thankfully!) of her own accord, said that she fully espoused a feminist view and wasn't questioning my competence etc in driving that far.

Other standard issue therapy matters were then discussed -- she seemed to find it really weird that I hadn't realized until very recently, that I don't have an internal calibration / sense of safety or danger.

I decided I'm staying put -- it feels like the more difficult choice and consequently, my convoluted brain says it must be the right one.