Quote:
Originally Posted by momo975
have a serious sit down with him before you go forward, be open with him so that he can be open to you... if you can't tell/open up to him about your insecurity about long term relationships, then how can you see yourself being with him ?
second, ask him how does he truly feel about his ex? if he can bring time back, will he fix things between them ? if the answer is yes, then yeah his ex is a huge deal for him still...
if he wants to commit but no titles, can mean many things ... the moral is that he wants to commit, want you to be there, but maybe afraid to put titles since his ex sorta just left him
and you shouldn't shame yourself for not being a relationship expert... maybe it was never your priority, while partying was your thing, some people are the complete opposite of you, it's how we're made
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hey momo, thanks for answering! well he we did have that serious sit down, and he was VERY honest about hiis ex, and its cristal clear that she IS a huge deal to him! he said " i know i need to recover from the illusion that its not over"!!!! what would you understand from that??? the second after, he so angry at her, and once refuse to meet her bcs he could never forgive her! second after, he actually called to meet her a month ago, bcs she had some health issues and wanted to see her, (i know it was before our commitment talk which was last week, BUT he didnt tell me!)
well, at least he did tell her hes seeing someone...
your question is indeed interesting, about what he could do differently, but i think he does see himslef as a victim, that she just dumped him bcs hes a musician and he dosnt earn much money.
about me- i dont know what my general fear of long term will actually reveal more to him?its kinda vague... i could offcourse say more about it, to get his empahty, and thats is sure important. but i actually imgine my relationship with him for the next year or two-i do not imagine myself starting a family with him- but i am honestly curious to see what happens to me when i stay with someone longer than 6 months, and how my perspective changes, and how i actually see a person beyond the outside leyers, and they see me...
does that make sense?