I was caught masturbating as a child too, and was told not to 'mess with myself'! I still did it though, but felt very guilty afterwards. I'm sorry your parents hit you - being told that it's wrong is bad enough

Women are given mixed messages about sex throughout their lives, and those conflicting opinions can be confusing. On one hand we are supposed to be sexual; yet if we are, we'll be shamed for it. The easiest option for me is to just ignore my urges in the hope that they'll go away, but as I get older my sex drive has increased which makes things more difficult. It's not just about sex though, I'd love to have the opportunity to share my life with someone, because in spite of all my problems, in many ways, I think that I would be a great partner.

I do think that men usually want an experienced woman these days (not that there's anything wrong with that) and I think that modern feminism is partly to blame. From what I've observed, men can be extremely sexually entitled and expect too much early on. I've known women who have been bullied into having sex when they don't want to, not just by men but by society in general, under the guise of "liberation". To me, that goes against everything that feminism stands for because to be truly emancipated, you've got to make your own decisions. Perhaps avoiding intimacy is my way of rebelling against this.

Peter A - I'd never pay for sex; that's just unpalatable to me. Also, as a woman, that would be a bit odd, and I couldn't afford it anyway!

SalingerEsme - Yes, I'm glad I didn't have sex when I was too young, I've heard so many horror stories about people who regret their experiences.

I know that I need to deal with my other problems before I attempt to find a partner, but I haven't been successful so far. Just feel at a loss.