confused, good for you to call the lawyer and get the straight story.

Yes, I am familiar with mediation. This is where a trained person called a mediator (it does not have to be a lawyer) meets with the spouses and tries to help them come to agreements. But you still can each have your own lawyer, and the lawyer will help you decide on what is best for you and what to try to get with the mediator. Sometimes the spouses will agree to share a lawyer and just have one. I do not recommend this. GET YOUR OWN LAWYER. Your husband can have his lawyer, and you can have yours. confused, because of your situation, I believe you need your own representation. Do not agree to not have your own lawyer! You can still do mediation with each person having their own lawyer, in fact, this is the most common form of mediation. I would also advise, if you do choose the mediation option for divorce, to get a trained divorce mediator, not a general family lawyer, no matter how much you like or trust your and your husband's family lawyer.

It is not true that one of you has to leave the house. Total b*lls**t. This is the reason you need your own lawyer, because your husband is lying to you and trying to take advantage of you. In fact, if that is the way he is going to be, mediation may not work for you at all. Do not leave the house. If he is being abusive, you can ask your divorce lawyer to file a court order to have him removed from the house. Along with this order would be filed another court order for temporary support. This is if you are financially dependent on your husband, the court would force him to pay you money temporarily so you and the kids don't starve and can keep up on mortgage payments or rent. This order would remain in effect until you have reached a legal separation or divorce settlement.

You really need to see a lawyer as soon as possible. (Can you call to have your appointment moved up?) You shouldn't be calling your T (for legal advice) when your husband tells you that you have to move out. That is a legal question and it is your lawyer you need to seek advice from. (But yes, of course, call your T whenever you need support!) If your husband keeps lying to you and trying to force you to move out, it can be considered threatening behavior. Keep records on all the crap your husband tries to pull like that, including dates and his exact words. This could help you in court if you need it.

When you meet with your lawyer the first time, ask him/her to explain the different types of divorce: litigation, mediation, and collaborative. (I am doing collaborative and am not sure that is the best choice for everyone!) He/she will help you choose the one that is best for you. In some forms of mediation, the couple is in the same room as the mediator trying to work things out and the two lawyers are not in the room but available for consultation. In other types of mediation, each client sits in a separate room with his/her lawyer and the mediator goes back and forth between the rooms, bringing the latest offers from each for consideration. I am going to send you some Internet links that describe the different types of divorce. It can only help you to know a little about this before meeting with your lawyer.

Good luck to you. You are being strong. PM me if you need more details on divorce. Unfortunately, I have become somewhat of an expert.