your anxiety and fear's are running your life, the biggest fear is probably the one of "letting go" or of trusting...sometimes we convince ourselves that we can always "put all of our chips" on the table if our own effors come up short but we hold back because we fear losing it all. my personal victory came when I realized that I had the winning hand and that I was being bluffed into not knowing that we have access to the "power to live" in victory...now, I try to do whatever I can to share that with other people, its just senseless to live in "the lies"... well, there it is...I've layed down my hand, its your hand too, but you must play it! (unless you like BEING "played")