Quote:
Originally Posted by daylightsa
We're not really talking at the moment... I sent out a quick text yesterday and he did reply almost instantly, but it was a friendly brush off. I understand, I know when you're depressed you don't want to talk, especially with an ex girlfriend.
I've suggested therapy before and he said he's given up on it since it hasn't helped him in the past.
I know he's not my responsibility.. I'm actually seriously considering seeking out therapy myself to help me understand why I invest myself so much in people. My dear friend Sara was suicidal last year and I also threw my head heart and soul into her problem. She is much improved now and says my presence was a godsend to her, but at the time it consumed my life. It's a problem.
|
All you can do is offer to be a once in a while support, if needed, but space is probably needed as well since you broke up.
And you're right - he's not your responsibility. I have a tendency to do this as well. It's partially the nature of being an empathic, caring and compassionate person, but over investing can become problematic, especially if it interferes with your own level of functioning and life.
It's hard to know/determine that fine balance, but taking care of YOU is essential when you're also helping someone else. I'm sure your friend Sara fully appreciated the help, and perhaps you were one of the few friends who did. With dear friends, how can we not care and want to help?
I think your ex needs treatment, and only he can pull himself up by the bootstraps to do that. HE has to care about his own well-being and take responsibility for himself, and it sounds like right now, he doesn't and has let everything go. All you can do is mention treatment again when you talk next, but give him space, too, and take care of your own self. (((((hugs)))))