Spoke to my husband this morning. He has decided not to pursue the primary job he was looking at out of state. He does not want to disrupt our family with such a move, which makes me feel a lot better/decreases my anxiety. He did go into details about why it's no longer attractive, the primary being that he would not be able to do a particular job function that he really enjoys; he said there were a few other things that would be different than he envisioned as well. That made me feel like he found out the grass isn't so green where he was looking, and now he wants to couch it in terms of the happiness of the rest of the family. I hate feeling so cynical about his motives/intentions, but if our familial happiness was the driver of the decision, it wouldn't have been dependent on the particulars of the job itself. Regardless, for now it looks like we are staying.

Thank you for your input *Laurie* - I really do want to work on our relationship, the way we communicate, and how we each make sure the other feels like a priority (I know I have work to do in this area as well). My only challenge with him going 'to work on me' is that the last time we did a couple of sessions together, he refused to participate in any real, effective way - and he was totally unaware of it at the time. He thought he was being open, while in reality he sat with his arms crossed (totally unnatural for him), barely spoke (also unnatural for him), and when he did speak it was completely in these weird sayings he uses in conversation routinely that are words without any real meaning (phrases in answer to real questions like 'how are you' - he will say "Fair to moderate" every time, no expansion on that, no further discussion, and it's a canned, automatic response with no thought behind it; it totally shuts down conversation of any real content) - or he would make jokes to try to move on. I think he was uncomfortable with the whole thing - he's never done any counseling before - and maybe feeling insecure about being there and trying to be vulnerable. I don't know. Regardless of the 'why', it was not productive. Maybe we can try again and see if it's any better now that he has an idea of what it's like. I'm also a little apprehensive, because I feel so emotionally drained right now I don't know if I have it in me to do another round of therapy. I guess it would decrease the emotional drain over time...?