I dont like lavender either! Its too sharp or something.

Well, i was thinking, he didnt marry you, so are you really obligated to keep him at home? That was pretty much the deal my dad had with my mother, he never wanted to go to a nursing home. Otoh, his brother broke his hip and did end up in a nursing home, altho he came back home a few times. Still, no one faulted my aunt. Its just the way it was. My dad passed away in the hospital the weekend before he was to return home after already a month in the hospital after a heart attack, but he had been ambulatory tho ill for seven years before that after a stroke and my mother did take care of him at home.

So i dont think its a question of your commitment to him. Thats obviously there. But what is best for him AND best for you? Maybe god is calling him home, but he's not calling you home yet? You dont want to show up unexpectedly!