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Originally Posted by divine1966
I am so very sorry.
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Thank you. I didn't realize the emotions were so close to the surface but cried as soon as I read this. I'm not one of those people who think that crying is a bad thing though, so again, thanks for helping me realize the hurt that I am feeling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I can't advice you on what to do in your situation. I'd not live with user of illegal substance. Or any addict actually (I lived with alcoholic, never again).
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Well, I am an addict myself, but as I said, I've been clean and sober for over twenty-five years: May 10th, 1992. So the fact that she is an addict is certainly not my line, but active addiction is something else entirely.
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Originally Posted by divine1966
But I can't tell you what to do. My heart breaks for you. It's so sad, isn't it.
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Horribly sad - borderline hopeless.
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Originally Posted by divine1966
Living with alcoholic I was constantly one foot out. If you feel one foot out but don't intend to leave, spend that time getting your affairs in order and work on bettering yourself as you can't change her.
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*nods* I think that is good advice and I have begun doing so. I was beginning the process of getting myself back in college, and this recent situation made me reconsider briefly. I was going to go back to school here but am working 300 miles away and if the marriage dissolved, it would make no sense for me to continue living here and maintaining this 600 mile commute (roundtrip). So I considered postponing my return until I saw what happened but decided against it. I might be waiting the rest of my life, it may come tomorrow - and I can't put my life completely on hold until I see which way this goes.
I have plans to move our travel trailer into an RV park when an opening arises near where I am working to avoid the hotel costs that I am incurring now, and she has suggested moving us there. There are so many practical reasons why this would not work out, but I am finding myself rather happy that it won't, because it would give me an established place to go in the event that this doesn't work out.
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Originally Posted by divine1966
I know you live on reservation, are there any services for addicts?
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There are, but she will not take advantage of them. I do not blame her for this particular choice, the level of incompetence is astounding on the rez in general and no where is this more pronounced that in the mental health department. Too, gossip is rampant and she is on parole. Regardless of HIPPA regulations, any contact with addiction services would alert her parole officer that there is a problem and could create more problems.
She did have a therapist she was seeing until recently but she quit six weeks ago because it was 'too hard' to go. Her counselor also suggested that perhaps she stop at this time because she did not seem to be engaged or committed to the process currently. Couldn't blame her for that; my wife cancelled about half her appointments and rarely with more than a few hours notice.
Thank you very much for responding divine, I needed someone to.
