My friend always tells me I can talk to her and stuff, but I know it's frustrating for her. I hate myself.. so much. She tries to tell me that she doesn't really understand why and tells me things she does like, etc., but I don't know. I think it's probably annoying that I just go on hating myself when she tries to show me there's no reason to. I can't just change my opinion about myself that fast, though.

Another thing is that I've hurt myself a lot in the past (cutting, drug abuse), and I did it again last night but I didn't tell her until after I was done with it and then I passed out afterwards so I didn't even really "talk" to her about it.. and I'm going to have to face it today and I'm nervous. I think she is probably mad at me for not telling her before I did it so she could have helped, but at the same time I think that whenever I complain about being depressed/suicidal I think I am annoying her.. because those conversations tend to be very selfish on my part and now it feels like I'm just.. I don't know.. I'm not going to kill myself no matter how suicidal I get, so I don't know why I should bother talking about it since I feel like I'm burdening and annoying her.

I just don't really know how to approach talking to her today.. any advice?