After the one-two month marker in a relationship I always feel like I run out of things to say or do. It always feels after that time frame I have nothing further to add to the relationship. The anxiety then ramps up and I start to convince myself they are better than me in every way possible. It gets to the point where I even begin to question my ability outside of the relationship such as at work or doing simple things like reading a book or the paper. It then escalates to the point where that is the only thing occupying my mind and I seem to be lost in this sort of ‘brain fog’, if you will. It’s around this time we usually break-up. I then spiral into a deep, deep depression and lose all interest in everything. The depression part is absolutely devastating. So bad to the point where you don’t get out of bed and it definitely interferes with your performance at work and relationships with your friends. It will take quite a while for me to rebuild my confidence again and get back to a sound mental state after this collapse.

I take meds. for anxiety and depression. I’m also starting to see a psychologist to try and get to the bottom of this. Also, the girls who I seem to get into a serious relationship with are the high achievers with type A personalities who most likely want to ‘wear the pants’ in a relationship. I’m sure this doesn’t help my problem but it’s still no reason to implode like how I have.

I've been looking back on my childhood a lot lately and I've I've realized my mom could be very negative and was definitely prone to anxiety.