I am thinking you have internalized some negative messages about yourself? Perhaps your mom had a similiar problem that you are mirroring? Is she the type of person who might be willing to talk about these things with you? She may remember things about your childhood that you do not. Has she been treated for anxiety? I hope you can ask her. It is hard to know if any of this is about the women you have dated. Your struggle seems mostly internal to me but it is hard to relay everything in postings.....