My experience with my teen step daughter and my wife is different. It is my wife who restricts my step daughter's spending of her own money. Since our marriage we have talked about this type of control and I agree with you to a certain level. While my wife compromised and has loosened my step daughters purse strings, there is still some control over what she buys. My step daughter is being taught the value of money by being given the option to buy most anything she wants, however, if she spends all of her money then when it comes time to go to the movies, etc., then she has to do without. Also, she is responsible for her own cell phone, which is about $35.00 per month. If she has not paid her bill by doing the dishes or other chores, then she doesn't earn money to spend. Her money has more value to her now since mom and dad have made her responsible for much of her entertainment. It's about helping her make better spending choices.

Also, I'd like to add that I don't think the money issue has anything to do with being a step father but more of an issue about how to raise children. I think if looked at deeper, you feel he thinks you may have done a bad job of raising your kids when it comes to respect. I'm certainly not saying this is true, I'm just wondering if this is the case. If so, please share.