I'm trying so hard to get better and be better and I feel useless, unwanted, a burden and a failure. I got a card in the mail today from one of my friends and it was about how I could be running my illness so much better. I feel defeated and like a total loser. I just don't and can't fight this anymore. There are other things going on but that just did it. I'm tired of having SI as my constant companion. I'm just over this.