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sidony said:
I actually told T that I didn't fantasize about having sex with him (this as part of a long discussion where I was using sex as an analogy for intimacy).

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I would need to know more about the use of sex as an analogy for intimacy, but if I am correct I remember you in the past stating that one of the reasons you entered therapy was because you have trouble with intimacy in relationships. I think that if you are equating sex with intimacy, then no wonder you wouldn't have sexual feelings towards him. If sex=intimacy for you, then if you are afraid of one, perhaps you'd be afraid of the other. (Speaking in terms of T and erotic transference and all that).

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My fear is that I'm now on the outside, that he'll be closer to the ones who have stronger desires/want for him.

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This tells me that maybe you are projecting your fear of rejecting him onto him; i.e., this statement indicates a fear of him rejecting you. You put yourself on the outside and he is closer, more 'intimate' with others.

I think you are very brave for telling him this and you are doing some very hard work in therapy.