I'm going to go out on a whim and ask how one builds emotional intelligence and empathy?

I've stated in a number of threads that I struggle when it comes to empathizing with other people. I have low emotional intelligence (EQ) despite having a high IQ. I am a logical person who is good with computers and technical things, yet I suck at understanding people.

I am desensitized to feeling a lot of emotions for most people at this point due to the amount of emotional trauma and neglect that I've been through. I am naturally a cold person who struggles to connect with people. Because of my lack of emotional empathy for people, there have been times that I've noticed where I've upset people without knowing how I did so or why they're upset. I get frustrated with people easily if I feel like they aren't listening to me or they are slow at understanding me. If somebody is rude to me for any reason, I assume they want to start conflict with me and I feel like beating them up like they are an object that I'm trying to repair.

In person, I am generally quiet and stoic around other people. I wear all black and often times feel like I intimidate other people without meaning to. I almost never smile because I'm almost never happy. I might fake a smile in a professional setting but doing so takes a lot of energy out of me. I mostly have a serious look on my face the vast majority of the time because it is easier to not putting any effort at maintaining facial expressions than faking emotions that I lost the ability to feel.

I wouldn't mind learning how to feel certain things for other people again. I don't particularly want to be like I am now, despite it being advantageous in a business setting. At one point, I was an emotionally sensitive person. Being more in tune with people's feelings would be nice.

I just don't know how.