"Emotional intelligence (EI) is the capability of individuals to recognize their own and other people's emotions, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, and manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one's goal(s)."

We first learn this as babies/toddlers, taught by our families. Some folks don't get taught this correctly and go awry right from the start.

Some people have processing disorders, and that is where this goes wrong for them.

Then others, like me, have emotional disorders, and I go wrong only in the last part, about how to regulate emotions to adapt or achieve goals.

From what you have said, Darkness, it sounds like you are injured from abuse and closed yourself off. You sound severely depressed. Have you tried an antidepressant? If you were once a smiling person, but now never smile, something happened to you that changed you.