After what I've had to deal with in the past regarding having a bunch of medicine shoved down my throat that I didn't need as a method of abuse, I refuse to ever take a psychiatric drug ever again because I don't trust them. In fact, I consider them all a scam not that much different from the placebo effect.

I've tried so hard to imagine things from other people's perspectives. When somebody annoys, upsets, or triggers me, it is borderline impossible for me to see past my own hurt and frustrations. I've tried mindfulness in the past among other things, but nothing seems to ever work for me.

Me being like this might be the primary reason why I feel like I'm not worth being loved or cared about. People want somebody who they can connect with and can empathize with. If I can't connect with people emotionally, why would somebody ever care about me when there are probably 10 times the people in this world who have empathy? How can I compete without resorting to lies and fabrications to lure people in? I can't be genuine without scaring people do to my lack of empathy. Somebody could be talking about something that might make most people upset, such as a starving child, for example. Yet my usual response to a topic like that would be on along the lines of "ya whatever" and I'm pretty sure that I scare people because I'm like that.

Maybe I should start learning how to apply masks to my daily routine like the sociopaths and narcissists of the world? I don't know how I can possibly change and connect with people at this point or if I am even capable of doing so.