First, I am soo very sorry about your loss ((((BIG HUGS))))). I am sure this is a most difficult time for you, where emotions and upset run high. Perhaps give it some time to settle, then like Jennifer suggested, maybe you could approach her to talk about it. Holding grudges does only hurt you, in the end. And it is true, that everyone handles grief differently. Maybe she just couldn't handle it. You could gently ask her reasons for not going and let her know that it upset you. There's nothing wrong with talking about it with her, when the time feels right. Sending another big hug!!!