i do actually keep a journal regularly. i have done so for four years. sometimes it saves me but sometimes it just doesn't seem to help at all.

yes, i've thought about the four dollar prescriptions, but i don't even have a general doctor. i don't have anyone i can go to.. it's very hard. i was on some medications that helped me a lot, but they were very expensive (effexor and wellbutrin) so i stopped and now i'm depressed again.. but i feel like i don't like medication really anyway. it's like it just covers up the problem and doesn't really do anything to solve it. i feel like if i had done something other than just take medicine before, stopping the medicine wouldn't have left me in this position afterwards. i'm interested in cognitive/behavioral therapy and stuff but i don't even really know how to go about trying..