I've been SO scared to be seen by other people.. I've actually isolated myself almost completely because I've felt SUCH shame about being seen. I've been certain people will hate me..

Lately, I've started to really pay attention to how people react to me, and have noticed that the things I've been ashamed of don't really bother many people. They've been fine with what I've felt are my worst traits! So now I find myself thinking maybe it is safe to be seen.. It really does depend on the other person.

Early on in life, I had really bad experiences with my parents - my dad didn't want anything to do with me, and my mum thought she could mold me into what she wanted me to be, she wasn't interested in finding out who I truly was.. I think this made me look for 'evidence' in other people that I truly can't trust anyone, and that I really am too 'disgusting' to be seen.. So over the years, I've constantly been met with people who haven't been able or willing to see me, for whatever reason.

However, I finally found myself feeling so unwell that I had no choice but to start therapy - and now, I've reached a place where I can actually look at other people and see that not everyone 'hates' me or doesn't want to see me! So far, it's been mostly professionals who are obviously used to seeing and accepting people with all sorts of problems, but I'm sure you don't have to be a professional, just someone with a good enough head on your shoulders and a good heart! I'm so glad to realize this because it means that maybe, I don't have to be so scared of the 'world' anymore..