Thank you so much Kim for sharing your story of discovery. I could relate so well to what you said. I gained from your wisdom. It made several things click into place for me. I am similar to you in that I separated myself from my emotions. I was the rock people came to for advise. I was unshakable in a crisis. I was outwardly the strength and the glue and anything else needed to hold things together for others. The authentic me was hiden from everyone until it was lost to me as well. I was functioning for the most part on auto-pilot and had no sense of my true self anymore.

I am going to heed your wisdom and start to give myself permission to process all of my feelings. The good and the bad. The joyful and the sorrowful with equal respect. I think I can see the magic in that. Something validating and honouring about the approach.

I read something recently that fits.... 'don't just weather the storm, learn to dance in the rain.' That has been my meditation lately so its very timely you should reinforce it with your own story. Thanks Kim.

I know what you mean about how living behind the wall of protection short changes the very ones we think we are serving and protecting. I've seen how my closed door, my protective covering effects my son and it breaks my heart. I need to open the door of my sanctuary and come out from behind my armour to be a walking testimony of my faith.

I know I've made many strides towards accepting 'what is' and not having to control everything and everyone's actions. I've learned to appreciate the opposites in life and in my emotional responses to life's happenings. I've learned a lot about 'letting it be'.

I've been studying the essence of harmony lately and I think that is paving the way for me to take new risks with my feelings and emotions. It is giving me cause to come out of the denial. Existing isn't enough anymore though when I started this part of my journey that was all I could strive for. To get through each day was a miracle. I'm grateful I survived those days and am blessed to have the drive still in me to seek more than mere existance. I have faith that my life has purpose and that I can fulfill that purpose by engaging totally in the life I was given. By engaging in the life that is all around me.

Thanks again Kim..... blessings to you......