momo, first of all, if you have suicidal thoguhts, its really important that you meet a professional! more than anything we can tell you here. if i understood the story, it sounds creepy, and wierd indeed, but since i know some good friends of mine who have gone through different kinds of sexual abuse or mistreatment, the reactions to how they precieve it are very various.. and you shouldnt rush to judge her "acceptance" of him, that dosnt mean she is creepy. to give you an extreme example, a freind of mine that was touched sexualy as a child by one of her cousins, and that obviusly was a huge trauma in her life. said once (it was in thrapeutic circle, and in a very secure setting) that after many years of trauma, she also understood that that was a very twisted and pervert love, but that person loved her, and that mixed feeling of both deep trauma that changed her life, but also acknoldging that she was in a way loved, didnt gave her rest, untill she decided to accpet both of those conflicting insights. i dont say my opinion of that phrase, or if i agree that it was a way of love. just saying, poeple have different ways of dealing with trauma, so dont hurry up to judge her. yes i would start a process with her of openning up the topic between you, but slowly, and with allot of compassion to her position in this story..i hope that helps