Hi again,
Thanks to all of you for your comments. As far as her parents, her mom died a couple years ago and her dad is really not well. Her sisters have kind of the same problems too.
They have tried the ultimatums, it might work for awhile, then tapers off. Someone seems to need to be there all the time, to hold their hands. We thought if a list was made of things to be done, it might help. But the momma of the two little ones, she might be a co-dependent. She expects things to be done for her, way over the ordinary. She doesn't want to do a lot with her boys, even expects her "boyfriend", dad of boys, to get her plate of food, yet complains if it's not done right.
She just sits like a little princess when they come to our house. Won't change diapers, fetch the diaper bag or anything.
I think there might be a lot of fears there. They don't have really any interaction with other people besides family. So, yeah, lots of prayer needed. Things at times seem like they're improving some, then I get all worried again, because I see that it seems they really aren't or haven't.
I want to trust God and His ways and that prayer works and I know it does. But, yet... Sometimes we need to do things to help, when things keep on in the same pattern. It's not healthy for anyone. Some changes need made.
Thanks for any more advice, etc. And sorry it took me awhile to get back on here.