I hear you. All I can say is it's all lies damned lies! All that kaka they put in your head. I have a similar internal dialogue about what a worthless, selfish, dispicable, good for nothing, low down dirty snake in the grass I am. I'm amazed that I don't scream when I look in the mirror. Sometimes I almost do. There are days when I literally have to have an argument with myself and insist that I stop telling myself horrendous things.