I'm not sure that we'll ever find a template that works for everyone, but this is how I opened communication:

At twenty seven years old I knew enough to know that there was someone else. I mean, it's tough not to. Missing time, strangers coming up and talking to you but they're calling you by a different name, etc. So I knew. Then I decided that I was going to make contact. This is what I did:

I committed to spending the last fifteen minutes of each day for a month talking to whoevertheheckitwas and coaxing him out to talk to me. Within minutes, I ran in to trouble. I didn't know where to focus my attention. So I grabbed a stuffed animal that had been recently given to me as a going away gift by my only close friend in the world. I talked to the stuffed animal. I knew I was looking internally but having something external that I could see, touch, and focus on made the difference.

So fifteen minutes every day for thirty days and I got absolutely nothing. I remember saying to the stuffed animal that this is seven and a half hours I'll never get back but I've wasted seven and a half hours doing stupider things plenty of times. The last fifteen minutes came to a close and I said good-night for the last time, turned off the lights and she screamed. I heard her. I felt her terror. I suddenly knew that he was a she and that she was scared of the dark.

I threw the light back on and we spent the rest of the night taking. She was so angry, untrusting and alone. I said some stupid things and felt her react before I 'heard' her speak. I said some really good things too, and felt her soften. We've been co-conscious most of the time since then. Sometimes she retreats for a bit, sometimes I do, but we can always find each other if we need to.

It took about eighteen months to two years to learn to trust each other completely and work through a lot of the stuff that stood between really bonding but she is absolutely my best friend today. It's been twenty-four years now.