In a few days he may be back home. I am unable to talk to H about what we are going to do when he arrives. It is causing me a lot of anxiety. H is tired of dealing with the problem (and that I do not agree that our son is 100 percent of the problem--I honestedly have a lot of confusion about this and cannot abandon my son). It could end our marriage. I have mixed feelings about the prospect of our marriage ending. I honestedly do not know if it is just him trying to get his way (and I don't even know what I want to do--I only know that I am uncomfortable with how H wants to handle the situation but have not got a good counter argument in this discussion) or if he is just ready to walk away from my craziness.

And maybe I really AM crazy. It seems like he only watches the Justice channel when we start talking about divorce. When I asked, "Why are you watching this? he sure started explaining. I don't care. The life insurance payout would help the kids more than I seem to be able to and the unbreakable pattern and the same old arguments over and over would end. Yea!