When I took the AD's and looking at pictures from junior high school after I started taking them, I looked dead. Yet I was too weak to say "no" to them. I have no idea whether the AD's caused this or not, but it was all lead to this point because of the therapy with my therapist. The therapist even pointed out "So you're judging me". He's too b*tthurt.
When I confronted that statement by uncomfortably saying "I'm not judging you", he changed his tone from strong to gentle, saying "No... what I meant was you were judging the treatment".

I really want to understand the situation and improve myself constructively, though.
My last psychiatrist was no professional to consult with about the effects of AD's. He's just there for giving medications.
Anyway, I want to understand my situation better. I want a good book, or a good website regarding improvment of the brain and its areas, particularly the frontal lobe.
Keypoint to all those troubling thoughts - I'm done being weak! I want to be strong and stronger.