Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton
Come on that was a guy taking the opportunity to be a troll. Ignore!
But I do wonder why you do seem to bring this topic up a lot in a way that is almost like asking for our permission to be or not be a black hat. Or perhaps you want to hear us say "yes you will make a lot of money and have a great life if you do that." You seem to be searching for something. If you want to live the life you want I would say just do it but you don't need to justify it to any of us. More like your are justifying it to you in sort of written form. The fact that you aren't just doing it and sort of putting it out there for someone to disagree without says you don't want to do it.
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I admit that I need therapy. I have a lot of emotional insecurities and I crave power and money to circumvent them. I just don't know how much longer I can hold on all on my own without caving in and doing the things that I talk about on here. I don't know why I do the things that I do.
I am just so overwhelmed with my crazy schedule. I can't get in to see a decent therapist yet due to how busy I am during the week and the fact that I don't have reliable transportation. I am trying to work towards getting my license but doing so takes time and money. I would need to wait at least 6-8 weeks to begin seeing a decent therapist and I don't know if I can hold out that long.
Maybe I am just crying for help? Maybe I'm trying to push you guys away? IDK anymore.
Sorry for making these threads. I am just hurting inside and I want to stop hurting any way that I can.