Im sorry. Though we differ in age, I know what it's like to feel like this. I spent a few years wondering who I couldve been, too. Forgive me if it's presumptuous to give you advice because of my age- but please let yourself mourn, like you are now. I've found it's the best thing we can do to let ourselves feel and let the mourning process cycle naturally. Acknowledging this loss of self after abuse, of wondering who we could've been, is important and a step in the right direction of the healing process (or so I've heard- I've yet to reach healing yet, still mourning like you)

Your jealousy is understandable, but it sounds like you were a good parent in giving your daughters what you didn't have, and I hope knowing that can become more of a comfort and sense of confidence for you. You gave them what you didn't instead of continuing the cycle your parents did to you! That's amazing and something that's worthy of being proud of.

Again I hope I'm not presumptuous or coming off as preachy. I just hope it helps to know you're not alone, and that I hope you can begin to find your self and be proud of that person.