Thanks. I think a big part of the fear could be alleviated if I knew exactly what was going to happen. The bad experience I had with a doctor(s) was mostly things happening that I couldn't control and didn't know about before hand. They told me it was going to be one thing, but then the doctor went and got more doctors and it turned into a horrible thing, and I was the thing, a no thing, an object of examination, not a person. I was too young to stop it. No one helped me. Now I'm an adult and I just want to be healthy and happy like other adults. But, as soon as they hear about my past they look at me and treat me differently. I'm not allowed to be person. WHY? I don't understand.