It's entirely normal to experience abandonment when changing Ts or cutting back on visits. Unfortunately many Ts don't handle it well and minimize your experience. That doesn't make it any easier though.

However my experience with borderlines it that abandonment is a huge issue. My daughter is borderline and bipolar and is like that. I raised her as a single mother, and I "abandoned her" to go to work to pay the bills. Hopping from T to T makes it difficult too. The only thing I can tell you is to search your heart and try to decide if this T is right for you. If not move on.

Wishing you a safe journey