lyn - you and i seem so smiliiar - i do the same thing - i journal or email and then when i read my writing i edit. i also am surprised by what i wrote when it gets read back to me... today, i wrote out what i wanted to say to t about today's session over the phone.... but didn't say even one line of it. *sigh* I will have to email it to her. She keeps commenting on how the Me i present to her isn't the real me in the subtext of what is going on under the surface. i don't know how to change that - that is how i get by in life. today i felt like she was attacking me - like i do it on purpose. well, maybe i do, but i don't know how to change it. that is what i have been taught - put out a good persona... hide everything. i was really shocked - bordering on hurt - when she said we weren't connecting. i was taught not to allow anything to be another's fault or to do anything wrong... so where does that leave me> not being "honest" with T. I don't know how else to be, and in one hour a week, there's not much time to change.
I hope you're right - that we can start reaching out and risk telling them. i mean, i don't know how to tell something like that without appearing hurt and i don't want to be seen as a victim. everyone gets after ppl who appear as victims. kiya