I can't let my last go as much as I try. It's emotional whack-a-mole. I'll get over one thing, or think I have, then another rears its ugly head and I lose it over that. I'm done with everything in my life except exercise and yoga, the only things I have left that I enjoy. I'm going to be self-elected homeless soon, because everyone's expectations of me are more than I'm capable of. I'm crying and physically hurting from it at least 5 times a day. I think about suicide, but know that guarantees it can't get better ever. I've given up, but try anyway. I fired my therapist that I kind of liked but got one that's very aggressive and all in my 5#!+ with aplomb, which I need. Every time I see him, I cry like hell before, during, and after because he's rough. I need the rough but it brings to mind my ex, and she was very emotionally and mentally abusive. We were married over 19 years, but just barely. The divorce was finalized this year early. I deserve to feel better but don't know how to. As I was told for a long time, I am the problem