I think I sabotage more by being away, by retreating too often, abandoning people. It's like I can't help but thinking that I'm doing people a favor, even though they will complain about my absence. I have allowed many friendships to dissolve and I'm afraid that I probably wasn't there for some friends when they most needed because I probably wasn't ok either, but never I find the courage to apologize or explain myself leaving some people resented.