Thank you for hugs but we're past that. I've closed off my social media accounts because someone might alert my parents that I'm this rough. I won't go back to the hospital, even though I signed myself in both recent times, without anyone else knowing my state.
I've had some kratom and kava tea and am laying down for the night. Please don't lecture me about those because my providers know I use both and my life is better with than without them. I don't need a lecture too right now.
Are there crisis chats online anywhere? If I can't get under control I don't know what will happen.